Cui ii place adevarul spus in fata?
Multi se cred atoatestiutori. Sau daca nu chiar asa, macar cunoscatori a numeroase domenii sau… macar detinatori ai cunostintelor depline in domeniul de activitate.
La fel toti au perioade in viata mai bune si mai putin bune. Toti fac alegeri uneori mai inspirate, alteori mai putin inspirate. Uneori aceste persoane au aproape prieteni.
Dar ce inseamna insa comunicarea intre prieteni si cat de departe poate ea merge?
Se spune ca un prieten adevarat este cel ce iti spune in fata si lucrurile pe care NU vrei sa le auzi, nu cel ce iti canta in struna si iti spune doar ce vrei sa auzi.
Gadilatul urechii aduce evident multe beneficii – nu zicem nu. Uneori insa ai nevoie de cineva care sa iti ofere o parere sincera si o perspectiva ce poate nu e cea la care te astepti.
Desigur ca e foarte important modul in care se spune un anumit lucru. Conteaza enorm atitudinea, tonul, mimica, abordarea si asa mai departe. Dar, presupunand ca avem de-a face cu o persoana ce stie sa comunice si nu are o atitudine nepotrivita, cum reactionam la lucrurile pe care nu dorim sa le auzim?
O parte din oameni apreciaza aceste dezvaluiri. O perspectiva diferita poate face lumina in anumite situatii si poate ajuta enorm.
Multi altii insa nu apreciaza deloc adevarul sau o perspectiva diferita. Ajung chiar sa se certe/desparta de prieteni de ani buni de zile pentru ca acestia au indraznit sa le spuna verde in fata o parere sau ceva mai putin comod.
Cu greu accepta cineva criticile. E firesc sa ai o atitudine de respingere a acestora atunci cand totul se face intr-o maniera nepotrivita, insa atunci cand acele critici sunt constructive e chiar pacat sa nu le iei in seama. Cand o critica vine de la un prieten, atunci s-ar putea ca oportunitatea sa fie cu atat mai buna de a imbunatati ceva.
Si totusi… cui ii place adevarul spus in fata?
Cine vrea sa auda ca din punctul altora de vedere face o alegere gresita?
Cine vrea sa auda ca a facut ceva mai putin bine? sau ca o anumita actiune pe care o planuieste nu e tocmai inspirata?
Cine e dispus sa ia in calcul criticile?
Tinand cont de raspunsul la aceste intrebari vin si mai adaug una: cei ce nu ii iubesc pe cei ce le spun lucrurile in fata, cum actioneaza atunci cand ei sunt pusi in situatia de a spune un adevar deloc usor unui prieten?
Si… ce e de fapt prietenia in acest context? Voi cat de departe mergeti in relatiile voastre?
Insemnari similare
Lori,
Cu toÅ£ii avem modele, percepÅ£ii diferite, dar totuÅŸi o anume evidenţă există ÅŸi de ea trebuie Å£inut seama în orice tip de comunicare. Mă gândeam acum, că eu văd acest material în acea lumină care s-ar traduce în vorbe, cam aÅŸa: folosim cuvintele care ne apropie ÅŸi care ne despart cu scopul de a construi ceva. Åži, da, adevărul nu e absolut, dar nici “o giruetă în bătaia vântului” ( cum bine spunea Camil Petrescu). Prin urmare e igienic să nu ne minÅ£im pe noi ÅŸi nici pe ceilalÅ£i: prieteni sau duÅŸmani… Adevărul implică smerenie…El trebuie spus cu glas blând, cu dragoste ÅŸi înÅ£elegere…
intotdeauna e mai bun adevarul in fata (spus cu decenta, nu ostentativ, ci intotdeauna constructiv) decat o minciuna care il duce in eroare pe cel caruia o spunem…
daca ii suntem cu adev prieteni, cu atat mai mult treb sa gasim calea, momentul, modul delicat de a -i spune ce greseste si cum vezi tu indreptarea actiunilor lor
si intotdeauna treb criticata actiunea, si nu omul.
asta e cheia spre o comunicare reala, sincera, constructiva 🙂
Eu sunt una din acele persoane care, de la prieteni, prefera intotdeauna adevarul spus in fata si fara ocolisuri. pentru ca, la randul meu, fac acelasi lucru. sunt excesiv de sincer (desi uneori strica asta). mai bine sa te doara adevarul decat minciuna 😀
@Catia Da, esentialul este ca adevarul trebuie spus. Cu toate acestea aparent sunt putini cei ce il suporta, chiar si diplomat venind. Uneori insa cand toti iti spun un lucru… tendinta e sa actionezi fix invers, chiar daca toti cei ce iti spun acel lucru iti vor binele. Poveste lunga cu adevarul acesta :))
@Mariana Iti multumesc pentru completari. Da, si eu zic ca un prieten adevarat are daca vrei o datorie de onoare – aceea de a-i spune celuilalt adevarul. Uneori insa celalalt nu il suporta si o cearta cu greu poate in timp sa se vindece si relatia sa redevina frumoasa.
@LucicX Foarte frumos si mai ales dezirabil. Bravo pentru atitudine si sper ca toti sa faca la fel. As adauga doar ca pentru multi a nu le spune adevarul inseamna a-i lasa sa traiasca intr-o iluzie care insa, pentru ei, inseamna ceva frumos. Amuzant e ca dupa ceva vreme – si nu intotdeauna – cand ce ai spus tu s-a intamplat, vin si iti spun ca ai avut dreptate. Uneori insa nu mai conteaza, daca atunci cand le-ai spus adevarul nu au stiut sa aprecieze.
Asta este greseala pe care o facem multi si nu numai aici. Nu stim sa pretuim un ceva atata timp cat il avem si cand realizam ca acel lucru ne era necesar ne dam cu capul de pereti “de nu l-am ascultat pe X?”, “de ce nu am facut aia?” sau invers “de ce am facut aia ca nu trebuia si y a avut dreptate”. Acestea sunt primele lucruri pe care trebuie sa le invatam in relatiile cu ceilalti: pretuirea, aprecierea.
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If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.
Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.
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Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.
Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.
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