Cat de dresat poate fi un barbat!
Dupa cum stiti am nascut de curand. Si tot intrebandu-ma multi cum a fost experienta, le povestesc – ca au fost muuuuuuuuuuuuuuulte faze amuzante 😀 Constat insa ca multi dintre cei care aud istoria completa raman consternati cand le povestesc in special o anumita parte, cu un el si o ea in prim-plan. Asa ca m-am gandit sa v-o impartasesc si voua – povestea.
Bun.
In a doua zi la reanimare e adusa in camera o tipa (care ocupa ultimul pat liber). O tipa tanara – aflu in urmatoarea dimineata la control ca avea 26 de ani. Tanara, nici frumoasa, nici urata, slaba, ok. Bineinteles ca dupa ce te aduce dupa operatie, vrei si tu sa iti vezi sotul – si la fel si el vrea sa te vada. Asa ca se permite accesul scurt – cateva cuvinte schimbate si gata.
Asa a facut toata lumea. Pana la ea. E adusa pe la 6 fara ceva seara. Vine si sotul. Vorbesc putin. El urca sa vada copilul. Revine dupa ce i-a facut cateva poze si i le arata si nevestei. Si apoi sta. Si sta. Si la 9.40 eu ii dadeam sms sotului ca e un nesimtit care nu mai pleaca. La 9.55 ii face asistenta observatie:
– Sa va pregatiti sa plecati.
La care el:
– Sa plec?
Iar nevasta-sa:
– Da’ de ce nu poate sa mai stea? De ce sa mearga acasa si sa doarma. Daca eu nu dorm sa nu doarma nici el, ce am facut singura copilul?
El:
– Chiar nu se poate sa mai stau?
– Nu, raspunde asistenta.
Pe la 10.15 a plecat.
Dar stati ca asta nu e tot.
A doua zi, la 7 dimineata, cine credeti ca era inapoi, cu tot cu poze deja facute in acea dimineata copilului? Ati ghicit, nefericitul. Si mai e.
O intreaba cum se simte, daca a dormit, dupa care ii spune ca el a dormit o ora noaptea.
Deci, cat de dresat poate fi un barbat?
Ce parere aveti despre aceasta tanara familie?
Insemnari similare
Nu vad situatia ca fiind asa de grava; iar faptul ca a dormit doar o ora poate fi pus pe seama grijilor, a sentimentelor de emotie fata de o situatie noua. Tipul o iubeste pe proaspata mamica si nu vrea sa o supere. Eu nu l-as cataloga drept caine de paza.
Eee, trebuia sa o vezi cum il trata. In plus iarta-ma, dar toate eram in aceeasi stare acolo. Si niciuna dintre noi (celelalte 5) NU a cerut sotului sa stea (mai ales deranjandu-le pe celelalte) ca sa Nu doarma – da, replica e exacta, e ce a spus respectiva.
Da, toti sotii se purtau minunat. Da, nici al meu n-a dormit decat 3 ore de emotie. Dar el a tinut sa ii precizeze imediat, ca o scuza, repede cat a dormit. Si nu, nu a fost singura replica din partea ei care m-a facut sa il compatimesc, sa ma bucur ca nu sunt asa si sa stiu ca trebuie sa imi invat fiul ca exista si asemenea specimene feminine, care nu onoreaza femeile si de care sa se fereasca 🙂
Dar da, sunt specimene de gen si o duc bine – in timp ce multe alte domnisoare chiar ok sunt singure.
AÈ™a-i trebe’, dă-l dreacu’ 🙂 Acum serios, fiecare primeÈ™te în viață exact ceea ce merită/ce vrea. Dacă omul s-a căsătorit cu o scorpie, ba mai mult, a făcut È™i un copil, asta este ceea ce are nevoie, ceea ce a căutat. Dacă nu i-ar fi convenit situaÈ›ia, ar fi divorÈ›at de mult. Prin urmare, omul e prost/dresat/etc È™i gata, de ce să-i plângem noi de milă? Mi-e milă doar de copilul ăla, care o să crească într-un mediu toxic… NesimÈ›irea maximă, care ar fi trebuit taxată mult mai dur, după părerea mea, este că au avut tupeul să vă deranjeze È™i pe voi.
PS: Vă zic peste vreo lună și un pic câte ore am dormit și eu. Pun pariu că nu trec de 2-3 ore 🙂
Sigur ca da, putea sa ia masuri – si poate in continuare. Din pacate da, cel mai suferind e copilul care va creste intr-un mediu deloc potrivit – la fel de toxic de pilda precum familiile alcatuite din oameni care se cearta continuu si considera ca e firesc asa…
Hmm… asteptam sa ne zici. Dar cu ce ocazie nu dormi mult?
PS: mila ca mila, dar pur si simplu consternare e mai degraba ce am simtit apropo de situatia de mai sus. Incredibil. Si nu, nu cred ca e ok sa il calci pe celalalt in picioare nici daca esti femeie, nici daca esti barbat.
Eu voi fi mai toleranta si voi spune …ca nici unul dintre noi, cei care comentam aici…nu-i cunosteam pe cei doi, nu traim sub acelasi acoperis cu ei.
Prin urmare nu putem sti…ce fel de relatie au sau cat de scorpie este ea…sau de ce-a afirmat …ce-a afirmat 🙂
barbati dresati exista cu adevarat. de recomandat cartea: “barbatul dresat” de Esther Vilar 😉 dar ceea ce este descris aici se poate baza pe multe lucruri… dupa cum au spus si altii … griji, bucuria de a fi tata… afectiune fata de mama… a presupune ca este dresat doar pentru faptul ca arata prezentza poate fi catalogat ca si gandire rudimentara, cel mult adolescentina.
sau ce ati face voi daca sa zicem dupa 10 incercari in sfarsit “ati reusit” ca ea sa ramana gravida? sau tu ca barbat ai aflat ca ai leucemie… sau (doamne fereste) ti-au murit primii doi copii intr-un accident?
acestea sunt doar exemple si nu vreau sa jignesc pe nimeni.
ar trebui sa fim mai sensibili la posibilele situatii in care se pot afla cei din jurul nostru si sa nu judecam dupa 2-3 gesturi…
ps: cat despre barbatii dresati: exista… 😉 dar trebuie sa existe o balanta intre parteneri. parerea mea
salutari si un an nou fericit si linistit tuturor!
Da, pot fi barbati precum cei descrisi mai sus, dar, fiind in spital cu acea doamna si sotul ei, vazand limbajul non-verbal, vazand mimica, auzind tonul, vazand atitudinea ei si a lui, in opozitie (mereu plecata, ca un caine sub papuc), auzind faza “minunata” cu el de ce sa doarma si eu nu, tinand cont de faptul ca la reanimare NU au voie strainii, doar persoanele care au suferit o interventie (si ca lor – soti, mame, frati/surori – li se dadea voie cateva clipe, in mod special, pentru salut – ca atare a sta cu orele acolo si a nu pleca este o mare dovada de nesimtire si lipsa de respect pentru noi, celelalte femei din reanimare), tinand cont de intreg modul de a se purta al celor doi si de toate cele nevazute asadar, pot spune cu certitudine ca era un barbat dresat si ca atare as avea totusi pretentia ca inainte de a califica in diverse moduri parerea mea, sa fi fost acolo pentru a avea aceleasi date. Nu era nimic dramatic, nu avea legatura nicidecum cu vreo situatie din cele mai sus – au povestit destule de care nu eram musai interesati dar… Si da, era clar cum stau lucrurile, si din nou da, stiu cum sunt barbatii dresati – am vazut destui in jurul meu. Nu este asadar in niciun fel presupunere, este pura realitate – ah, ce-as fi dat pentru o camera video – desi ar fi trebuit chiar sa n-am ce face sa ii filmez :))
Ca atare inainte de a arunca cu jigniri as zice sa fie macar aceeasi experienta – ori eu vorbesc din ce am vazut si studiat – tineti cont inclusiv ca lucrez in comunicare ca atare stiu destule si despre non-verbal si paraverbal – nu din ce am auzit/citit.
Cum zice Ovidiu insa da, omul are ceea ce merita – daca a luat-o si accepta sa il trateze astfel.
Insa am ales sa prezint situatia tocmai pentru ca nici eu nu agreez asemenea comportamente, din nicio directie. Nu cred in conducerea intr-o casnicie, cred intr-o pozitie de egalitate a ambilor parteneri.
@Florin, desigur, sunt multe situații în care un om poate să fie tratat așa și să nu-i pese, exemplele tale sunt foarte bune. Nesimțirea este însă să profiți de slăbiciunea celuilalt pentru a-l călca în picioare, iar în timpul ăsta să deranjezi și pe alte persoane.
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