Don’t get mad, don’t get even, solve things
V-a suparat un coleg? V-a enervat seful? Ati intalnit un mitocan in trafic? V-a enervat o ruda bagacioasa? V-a deranjat vecinul cu manelele sale?
Probabil ca da, la un moment dat ceva v-a deranjat. Si atunci, tot probabil, v-ati suparat, mahnit, sau chiar infuriat. Poate ati injurat. Poate ati recurs la violenta. Poate ati aruncat cu diverse. Ati rezolvat insa ceva in acest fel – in afara de a-i enerva si pe cei din jur? Probabil ca nu. Sau nu pe termen lung sau cu impact real.
Copilul cand este mic are tendinta de a plange sau tipa. Multi parinti – mergand pe principiul e mic, nu stie – il ignora pe cel mic. Altii urmeaza indemnul doctorului: copilul sa nu planga ca face febra, caz in care ii fac toate poftele si se mira de ce la 2-4-10 ani se isterizeaza de fiecare data cand nu primeste ce vrea. Se mira uitandu-se la acum adultul care face crize deseori. Si tot apropo de copii, multi parinti ii cearta cumplit (daca nu ii si altoiesc putin “sa le fie invatatura de minte”) pe copii de fiecare data cand fac ceva gresit: uita o haina la scoala, pierd ceva, varsa ceva pe fata de masa (eventual cu musafiri de fata) sparg sau strica un lucru. Reactia copilului? Fireasca de altfel: pe viitor, ca sa nu mai suporte asemenea consecinte, va incerca sa musamalizeze (sa minta, sa ascunda etc.). Si iata un alt tip de comportament deviant – intalnit la o sumedenie de adulti (cati soti nu isi ascund diverse – si nu vorbim despre cadouri in ocazii speciale? – ca sa dau un singur exemplu).
Acum suntem adolescenti sau adulti. Si iata ca iar avem motiv sa ne suparam sau enervam. Daca sunteti scorpioni – ca zodie – se va presupune ca indemnul este: “don’t get mad, get even!”. Este o solutie? Uneori poate parea – cu siguranta. Cand insa aloci prea mult timp in aceasta directie poti ignora adevarate oportunitati si de asemenea irosi prea multe resurse. Deci nici razbunarea nu este o solutie. Si daca ne aducem aminte de faptul ca ignorarea este cea mai buna razbunare… lucrurile sunt si mai simple.
Decat sa pierdem timpul si sa irosim nervi si resurse aiurea, mai bine incercam sa rezolvam ceva. Iata o viziune ce nu e auzita foarte des. Probabil ca daca atunci cand sunt mici copiilor li s-ar explica de ce nu e bine sa strice anumite lucruri si atunci cand stica un lucru sa se reactioneze – spre exemplu, asta e, se spala 🙂 – nici adultii nu ar fi uneori atat de “disperati”.
La fel este si in afaceri: nu are sens sa te enervezi pentru un client care nu plateste la timp. Chiar credeti ca el se gandeste la fel de mult la dumneavoastra? Chiar credeti ca daca ii doriti de rau se rezolva ceva – nu cumva de fapt ar trebui sa ii doriti de bine ca sa aiba de unde plati? Chiar merita el nervii si acel timp – nu mai bine cititi o carte, mergeti la o intalnire cu un potential client, cu prietenii, cu familia si asa mai departe? Desi poate parea o solutie ineficienta e mai simplu sa renunti la astfel de clienti – decat sa tragi de ei mereu (pentru un ok pe unele materiale, pentru plata etc.).
Solutiile pot parea dificil de gasit – perfect adevarat. A persista insa in acea situatie si a nu incerca sa se gaseasca solutiile, modalitatile de rezolvare cele mai potrivite poate fi insa o greseala. Angajatii pot sa se afle nevinovati in drumul dumenavoastra si sa fie certati fara o baza reala; acasa un copil poate avea de suferit – sa nu ii acordati atentie pentru ca sunteti suparat/a de la serviciu. Chiar merita sa piarda cineva nevinovat si sa sufere?
A gasi rezolvarea unei situatii dificile poate constitui o provocare care sa va anime sa veniti cu idei inedite. Va poate solicita creativitatea, iar in final va poate oferi mari satisfactii. O astfel de abordare – in viata personala si in cea profesionala – aduce cu sine insa rezultate importante in timp: mai multa liniste, mai putini nervi, deprinderea de a gasi solutii nu de a persista intr-o situatie mai putin placuta. Incercati de cateva ori – si s-ar putea sa va placa rezultatele.
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