Despre comunicare si prieteni
|Se pot scrie multe, foarte multe pe acest subiect. Nu am in niciun fel pretentia de a epuiza intr-o mica insemnare topicul comunicare si prieteni.
As dori sa spun insa cateva cuvinte despre normalitatea in comunicare si, daca vreti, despre cateva reguli pe care ar fi bine sa le urmam, sau macar sa vedem daca persoanele din jurul nostru le pun in aplicare.
- fiti alaturi de cei dragi. Da, suna poate la mintea cocosului, dar pentru foarte multi a pune in aplicare indemnul e foarte dificil. In fond e usor sa ai un umar pe care sa plangi, o persoana de la care sa ceri un sfat – dar… voi sunteti alaturi de acea persoana cand are nevoie? E valabila adica si reciproca?
- incercati sa aflati cand si daca au ceva. E drept ca fiecare om reactioneaza in felul sau. Sunt oameni care atunci cand au o problema le spun tuturor apropiatilor. Sunt altii insa care prefera sa se inchida in ei, sa se ascunda, sa incerce sa isi rezolve problema singuri. Uneori acestia, chiar si cand sunt in situatii grave, tot isi ajuta prietenii cu sfaturi, vorbe bune etc. Daca sunteti insa prietenul/prietena cuiva stiti cum este acea persoana si ar trebui sa va dea de gandit daca la intrebarea “Ce mai faci?” raspunde cu un simplu “bine” sau incearca sa evite raspunsul.
- nu impuneti punctul de vedere. Niciodata nu aveti cum sa luati o decizie in locul altcuiva. Puteti spune cum vedeti situatia din punctul vostru de vedere, dar nu puteti oferi verdicte. Puteti impartasi experiente similare ale dumneavoastra sau cunoscutilor (fara a da nume) insa nu puteti spune unui prieten cum trebuie sa reactioneze.
- acordati atentie aluziilor. Da, probabil ca acest indemn are in vedere mai mult doamnele si domnisoarele – ele sunt cele cu aluziile. Insa atentie la ceea ce va spun prietenii. Poate ca un strigat de ajutor e ascuns intr-o replica. Sau poate e spus pe sleau dar intr-un ton pozitiv. Nu va incredeti in aparente. Incercati sa ajungeti la esenta. (si da, stiu, pentru multi ar fi usor daca toata lumea ar spune verde in fata ce vrea, dar unele persoane sunt altfel.)
- pastrati legatura. Da, poate ca au intervenit probleme, da, poate ca nu mai e la fel de mult timpul liber disponibil, da, poate s-au intamplat diverse care au dus la unele schimbari, dar daca doriti sa va ganditi la cineva ca la un prieten incercati sa vedeti ce mai face.
- sunati si doar pentru a saluta pe cineva, nu doar pentru a cere ceva. Stiu, poate ii veti soca pe unii, dar le veti arata si ca nu va ganditi doar la cum sa castigati de pe urma lor.
- incercati sa va puneti in pielea celuilalt. Empatia n-a omorat pe nimeni. Dar lipsa ei duce la certuri des. Uneori la ruperi. E pacat.
Ignorati sfaturile de mai sus si nu se va spune ca aveti multi prieteni adevarati sau ca sunteti un prieten adevarat. Dar pana la urma fiecare decide ce vrea, cum vrea sa fie perceput si face lucrurile asa cum considera de cuviinta.
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