Parintii sunt mai fericiti decat cei care nu au copii – studiu – si-atunci de ce pozeaza in victime adesea?
Taman cand ma pregateam sa scriu un articol despre un produs pe care il recomand parintilor am gasit un studiu interesant publicat acum pe care ma grabesc sa vi-l aduc la cunostinta. Las produsul pentru saptamana viitoare (nu e parte din vreo campanie, e pur si simplu un produs pe care il veti gasi la multi furnizori). Studiul pe care l-am citit arata ca parintii – in special tatii – sunt mult mai fericiti decat persoanele care nu au copii.
Veti spune ca e firesc. Din multe puncte de vedere asa este.
Cu toate acestea vad o sumedenie de parinti – si mame si tati – care doar se plang. Sau la care procentajul plans de diverse – bucurie ca au copii este 80-20.
Chiar ma uitam pe unele bloguri – intre timp am incetat sa le vizitez – cum aproape doar despre cat de greu e, despre cat de neastamparat e copilul si asa mai departe.
Citind acele bloguri si vorbind cu diverse mame si cu unii tati ai putea intelege ca odata ce ai un copil vei avea parte doar de clipe grele, de nesomn, de boli, de nervi, mizerie, costuri ridicate etc.
Rar aud pe cineva povestind cu entuziasm despre lucrurile frumoase si momentele deosebite care iti implinesc viata. Da, nu e usor sa ai un copil intotdeauna, dar daca este unul dorit de ce oare multe persoane aleg sa vada doar greutatile si nu sa se bucure de fiecare clipa?
E ca in faza cu posturile si indemnurile – pe bloguri sau in realitate – de genul “pretuieste-i pe cei dragi”, “bucura-te de apropiati”, “spune-le ca ii iubesti” etc. cat mai sunt in viata. De fiecare data cand moare cineva – vedeta sau cunoscut de-al unei persoane cu influenta (sau al mai multora) apar asemenea postari si acelasi indemn. Sigur ca asa trebuie facut, dar de ce postari doar cand nu mai sunt si niciodata din timpul si de ce adesea multi zic ca da, asa trebuie facut, isi schimba atitudinea dar ii tine o zi? Bine, asta e de fapt alta discutie, la fel de lunga precum cea cu parintii si bucurii.
Adevarul e ca apropo de partea cu studiul care arata ca parintii sunt mai fericiti decat cei care nu au copii si in articolul de prezentare se spune ca aceasta e realitatea desi nu aceasta e impresia lasata de parinti – cum ca ar fi veseli, fericiti etc.
Cand stii ca urmeaza sa ai un copil stii si ca urmeaza o perioada diferita in viata, cu prioritati schimbate dar si cu multe realizari si bucurii, cu nopti nedormite, dar si cu momente deosebite. De ce apoi multe persoane aleg sa prezinte doar ce nu e placut si mai rar momentele frumoase pentru care de fapt ai ales sa ai un copil?
Repet: stiu ca nu e usor. Stiu cum e sa fii la o luna dupa ce ai nascut singura acasa, cu sotul plecat si tu sa ai grija si de copil, si de caine, si de tine. Sa tii si casa, sa faci si de mancare, sa si lucrezi, sa plimbi si copilul de doua ori pe zi, sa plimbi si cainele de doua ori pe zi. Si daca am crezut ca asta a fost greu stati sa vedeti cum a fost cand am avut piciorul in orteza – si am avut doua prietene care veneau sa plimbe cainele si sa ma mai ajute sa ii fac baie lui Eric si in rest tot eu le-am facut, cum am putut pe toate. Iar in iunie ma mai asteapta o tura – acum post operatie:)
Sincer nu am simtit nevoia sa ma plang vreun pic. Nu e usor – dar cand vezi zambetul copilului tau, cand ii auzi rasul, cand te joci cu el, cand il inveti diverse, cand vorbesti cu el si iti raspunde – pe limba lui, dar se face inteles – iti dai seama ca nu iti mai trebuie nimic.
In primele zile ale lui Eric, cand zambea inainte sa adoarma – si mai apoi cand a crescut un pic si zambea mult (si acum zambeste mult) ma intrebam oare de ce nu pot oamenii plati ceva cu zambete de copil. Nu iti mai trebuie nimic altceva.
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“None other. The Widows and Orphans 15` Interstellar Bank, the one he told you about, is owned by him as well. For some reason, best known to him, this one is supposed to be secret. So I sent him a message, telling him that we were helping with your investigation. Told him that I could help him a lot more if I were a teller in the branch of the Widows and Orphans bank here, to sort of be on the spot if anything happened. I thought he might have a certain influence that might get me appointed here.”
I pushed hard on the bed in the direction of the scratches.
“Or maybe he is in here,” the guard said. Pointing at me. Looking me square in the face. The others looked. I looked back and wondered what I should do when they found me.
Something. What?
Factories, smoke stacks and grim walls reluctantly gave way to scrubby countryside of some sort. Mostly swamp. The shoulders of the road made a handy dumpsite, so rubbish of all kinds marked our none-too-swift passage. Angelina and I tried a desultory conversation that soon died away. We bumped and jiggled around on the seat, looking out glazedly at the worn landscape. Some hours, or centuries, later we turned off the main road and down a rutted farm track past a sign that read. RASHERS AND QUILLS, decorated with a not-too-bad illustration of a porcuswine rampant. The legend below informed us that ALL TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT.
I shorted out the electronic door lock, then accessed the door frame alarms and neutralized them as well. Then came the only tricky part; sliding the infrared generator in front of the receiving lens without breaking the beam. Slowly forward, angled square on, only too aware of the sweat that was trickling down my face. There!
As I spoke I felt what could be a gun grind into the small of my back. Geuka unclipped an electric prod from his belt. “In,” he said very firmly. “You and these other gentlemen have volunteered for only an hour’s work on the night shift. For which you will be paid two hundred credits.”
“You have to. There will not be a second chance. A ticket has been bought for Iba and he has been paid a large bonus. He will be going offplanet today. And don’t forget-remember the video you looked at-that you are what might be called a hostage to fortune.”
Act cool and you are cool, Jim, I kept telling myself. Cool, cool. I walked to center stage and bowed-and almost lost it. Because just in front of me, in the center of the front row, was my son Believer, clapping like crazy. But he was supposed to be light-years away.
“When do I start?” I asked quietly, keeping all my true feelings under lock and key. For the moment.
“You are,” he snarled, pushing me in the chest. Normally I would have dropped him for this, but now I was just playing for time. I moved back hesitantly and he smiled. “You were in the presence of a known criminal early this evening.”
She placed the call, never taking her eyes off me. She was calm and composed although quite pale.
“I’m alone!”
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